Wedding – HOUSE OF PRAIN

I was chatting with a friend from the midwest recently and she was telling me about a friend of hers who is getting married this summer, but there were some reservations concerning the guy she was marrying. After a long conversation, I have a few thoughts on the matter – since wedding season is in full bloom.

Girls, BEFORE you say those vows, keep in mind:

1. The dating/early season of marriage is usually the “honeymoon” period. If the guy isn’t treating you like a queen, respecting you, caring for you, etc, especially RIGHT NOW, during this “honeymoon” period, don’t expect him to change – it usually gets worse. #RedFlag

2. BEWARE of wolves in sheep’s clothing. Guys can “change” to fit a desired mold for a while, but unless the heart is truly changed, they will flip back after the wedding. #RedFlag

3. Just because you made mistakes with him, primarily physically, DOES NOT mean you have to marry that person. There may be guilt, and thus the guy has a “power” over you… but you don’t have to marry the man. God never says that you MUST marry someone if you have gone too far physically. He may have taken your virginity, but it doesn’t mean he gets to take you as his wife. #RedFlag

4. I’m a firm believer that if a guy is currently addicted to porn, has not gotten victory over anger, or is incredibly controlling (keeping you from talking to any other guys but himself, not respecting your parents, spiritual leaders, etc) …. you SHOULD NOT marry the man. At least not now. The biggest lie of the devil is that YOU will change him. You won’t. #RedFlag

5. Don’t settle. He may the only boy that brought you a dandelion and called you pretty. You might feel the most comfortable around him. But that doesn’t make him husband material. A soft side and one who makes you comfortable is great, but rather look for a strong leader with a tender heart. #RedFlag

I have about 30 friends getting married this summer. If any of these red flags are present, please, please don’t SACRIFICE a LIFETIME of misery on the altar of a 30 minute ceremony to save the embarrassment of calling it all off. Calling it off could be your ticket to freedom. Forget the invites, the flowers, the money, etc…. honestly, your friends can probably see more clearly than YOU can and will ALL be relieved if you BOLT.

Am I old school? Sure! Biblical too. I believe marriage is sacred and serious. Marry the right person – it’s a bit of Heaven on earth; Marry the wrong person – it’s a bit of hell on earth. Maybe more than a bit.

It breaks my heart when some of my closest friends, years later, come to me and say, “I ignored the red flags”. But if you are reading this and are single, dating, or engaged, it’s not too late until it’s too late. Can God change hearts and bring repentance, yes. But it’s never a guarantee your man will want to change. So please be careful now, while there is still time. Pray early and pray often – for wisdom, guidance, and the peace which passes all understanding.

I worked the mid-shift today, 11am-8pm. That is unusual for me, as I normally work mornings, but due to kids asking off for proms and graduations, I was scheduled. As for the shift, it was going well! We had a great group of team members, and times were good on front line and drive-thru. Then I get a call from my wife.

“Trey missed his nap… baby is hungry… and I got my ring stuck on my finger”

I was in the middle of work, so I gave her a few tips how to remove a ring and went back about my business at Chick-fil-A. Over the next couple of hours she tried calling me multiple times, but I couldn’t answer them due to being busy. The last call I answered went like this:

“Babe, I can’t get this off. It’s so swollen and it is so painful. I have the neighbors here watching the kids, but I need help”

I was able to help get the other leader on shift to a position where I could leave 10 minutes early… about 7:50pm. I drove home and began watching youtube videos for tips and tricks on how to remove a ring and tried a few. Nothing. She was getting frustrated and in pain. Finally, we decided to run up the street to the volunteer fire department in the Fort Mill, SC, area. We loaded up a hungry Lauren and a VERY over-tired Trey… and set off into the night. That’s when I noticed we were on “E”… below “E”… as in, the digital read-out said “Distance to Empty is 0 miles”.

We had almost reached the volunteer fire department when we see a fire engine racing the other way… lights and sires ablaze. Welp, just as we expected, no one answered the doorbell when we arrived. They were all out on the call they had just received. So I decided to head towards the first main fire department I could think of… the big one in the Charlotte area 20 minutes up the road.

To get there, we had to go through the little town of Pineville, NC. By now, it’s around 9:30pm. As I approached Main Street, I was doing a healthy 40-45mph in a 20mph zone. Sure enough, there in the dark was the Pineville Police. I tapped my brakes on instinct, but then continued on at the same pace. Sure enough… here he came. The blue light special! I commented to my wife… “Good! Let him pull me over!”

He got out of his car, approached me (I was sitting in my minivan in a CFA bow tie and badge), and asked for my license. I said, “Funny story… I just left Chick-fil-A early because my wife has her ring stuck on her finger, my wallet is in our other vehicle, and we are trying to get to the Charlotte Fire Dept.” He took one look at her finger and exclaimed, “Good Golly! Follow me!”… He zoomed off and led us to the Pineville Fire Dept, ran inside, and soon 3-4 fireman appeared, along with an EMT who was hanging out at the station. The EMT tried the rubber band trick that “always works”. It didn’t. He was able to move the ring to the knuckle, but it was stuck again… and this time the finger was turning blue. Next plan of action: “Get me the ring cutter”.

Thankfully, it wasn’t her main ring. It was her wedding band. She has been itching to wear it again after being pregnant, and thought her weight and fluid had gone down enough to wear them. We thanked the EMT, fireman, and the cop… who laughed and commented that this got us out of a $240 speeding ticket. And that, folks, is how the House of Prain spends their Friday evenings. 🙂