2020 – The Year of Change

How do you sum up almost 12 years of life? I don’t think one can – at least not properly. There are so many memories to try to encapsulate in one post, that I would be foolish to think that I could recall all of them. In fact, the biggest fear of writing this post is that someone or something will be unintentionally left out. So please allow me to generalize to a great degree.

On May 31, 2008, I married the love of my life – Rebekah Linder. I met her the Saturday after Thanksgiving in 2006. I was just finishing up work at the Greenville Spartanburg Airport, and had been invited by my cousins to drive up to the Charlotte area to have home-made chili with their friends. I’m still foggy-brained over whether this was a set up or not, but nonetheless, I was a single 25 year old that loved chili. So I went.

It was that evening that I met my future wife. She was nothing I “thought” I wanted in a girl. I had always imagined I’d marry a southern girl who loved sports, and yet here I was, crushing over an opera singer from WinscAHsin (or however you are pronouncing that accent in your head – lol). We were engaged a year later, and then in May of 2008 we were married.

Though I lived in a couple other states during college life, Greenville, SC, had always been home. So for the first time in 27 years, I found myself putting down roots in a different place. We settled in Matthews, NC, in an apartment complex called Paces Commons – starting out life together above another young couple with two little girls, Angie and CR Braniff – now known around the world as https://www.youtube.com/user/branifffamily – Check them out and subscribe! We are so thankful for their friendship, even to this day.

During the stay in the apartment I began a 4 year tenure at the Bible Broadcasting Network (BBN Radio). It was an honor to serve alongside Dr. Lowell Davey and see many people give their lives to Jesus. Shortly after starting work at the station, we built our first house in Fort Mill. Both of our kids were born while living in that home on Haddington Drive.

Then, after much prayer, we began the process of pursuing our own Chick-fil-A franchise. What a journey! Those details are in this blog somewhere back in the archives. We sold our home and moved into a rental in the Wesley Chapel, NC, area in case I was offered a franchise location and we would be moving somewhere across the country. Nothing stretched us more than this experience – professionally, personally, and spiritually. So many sacrifices, yet willing to be tried and tested to see if that was what God had in store for us. Though it was not His purpose for us at that time, the friendships forged during those 3 years with CFA was immeasurable and invaluable.

Through connections at Chick-fil-A, I was introduced to Ryan Homes. I had never been in sales before, and actually couldn’t stand sales people. But real estate intrigued me, and I quickly discovered that sales, done correctly, is simply building relationships and meeting needs. I accepted the position and went through the process of building another home back in Fort Mill. It was during this move that we joined the church family at Harvest Baptist Church in Rock Hill, SC, and got involved teaching the college SS class, as well as in the music ministry (my wife that is – Haha!)

Fast forward 3 years to today, where we have taken the time to assess where we are in life, how much time we are spending together as a couple, with our kids, with others, etc. What we discovered is that we have very little margin in our lives, at a time when our kids are at very impressionable ages.

So after a lot of thought, prayer, and counsel, we will be transitioning to Greenville, SC over the next couple of months! It will be good for my kids to grow up around grandparents, uncles/aunts, and cousins for a few years at least. I am staying with Ryan Homes, but my drive to work will be less and with family around, I won’t feel like my wife is alone on the long days.

The email to my pastor was the hardest. Our church family at Harvest Baptist is special. I pray that we find something like Harvest in Greenville. We will miss you, Charlotte! You have become home. We were married here, our kids were born here, and our closest friends are here.

But a giant step of faith is good for the soul. It stimulates growth, necessary change, and new opportunities for impact and influence. So here’s to meeting new friends, reuniting with old ones, and learning new hashtags. See you soon, #GVL!

PS – Have you ever gone through a big move? Share all your tips and tricks!

An Unstable Foundation

I’d like to take a different opinion/angle on these mass shootings. When you take away the arguments of politics, guns, mental illness, etc, I’d like to consider the absolute dysfunction and destruction of families over the past few decades.

Let’s consider it in general, as I am not casting blame.

Whether it’s a matter of dysfunctional, broken families, or parents who are simply not intentional with time, love, and attention – a product is emerging that has no purpose and no hope and no value – or so these children/young adults are led to believe.

The Texas shooter posted on his LinkedIn that he is just getting by. That he guesses he’ll do software development because it seems to suit him best. I hope I’m wrong, but to me he appeared to be your stereotypical “no ambition, sit on the couch and play video games all day” type of guy.

I may be stepping on some toes, but that’s a parenting problem.

It’s a parenting problem to not teach your kid ambition. It’s a parenting problem to not teach your kid hard work. It’s a parenting problem to allow your kid to sit on screens all day.

But that’s the issue. It’s hard work to parent and be intentional with parenting.

At the end of the day, do I know all the details? No.

At the end of the day, do I know his home life was the issue? No.

At the end of the day, was he at fault? Yes.

At the end of the day, are we, as parents, responsible to teach and train and love? Yes.

I don’t post this to flippantly add to the outcry and pointing of fingers, but rather to say that the foundation of America is the family. And the devil knows it’s where the attacks are the most affective.

So where do we go from here? We all look inside and say, “What can I do to build up and strengthen my family – our foundation?”

Before you respond, know this. Please. I’m not saying because you are divorced, this happens. I’m not saying your child cannot be raised well and then turn from the truth. I’m not saying that video games are the reason. Or guns. Or donkeys. Or elephants.

Just consider this angle: Without a reason to live, without hope, and without purpose, you are capable of destruction.

Please consider your time. Do you come home from work and selfishly do what you want to do and let your kid sit there, alone, with headphones on their ears, mindlessly playing games for hours on end because no one makes them feel important, or loved, or inspired to do anything?

They’re skilled. They’re important. They’re valuable. But do they know that? Have you told them?

I can promise you this. God forbid that’s ever my son on the Walmart security cameras, but if it were, I would look back and take a lot of responsibility.

So the next time you hear people say to hug your kids and love on them because they could be the next victim, think about hugging them, loving them, and being intentional with them as parents, because they could be the next killer.

That’s hard to read isn’t it? It’s hard for me to think about that.

I close with this.

Maybe you were burned by church. Perhaps you were hurt by religion. Don’t let that keep you from teaching your kids about God. About a personal relationship, not a religion, with Jesus Christ.

NO Jesus, NO hope; KNOW Jesus, KNOW hope. ❤️