Bridal Beware!

I was chatting with a friend from the midwest recently and she was telling me about a friend of hers who is getting married this summer, but there were some reservations concerning the guy she was marrying. After a long conversation, I have a few thoughts on the matter – since wedding season is in full bloom.

Girls, BEFORE you say those vows, keep in mind:

1. The dating/early season of marriage is usually the “honeymoon” period. If the guy isn’t treating you like a queen, respecting you, caring for you, etc, especially RIGHT NOW, during this “honeymoon” period, don’t expect him to change – it usually gets worse. #RedFlag

2. BEWARE of wolves in sheep’s clothing. Guys can “change” to fit a desired mold for a while, but unless the heart is truly changed, they will flip back after the wedding. #RedFlag

3. Just because you made mistakes with him, primarily physically, DOES NOT mean you have to marry that person. There may be guilt, and thus the guy has a “power” over you… but you don’t have to marry the man. God never says that you MUST marry someone if you have gone too far physically. He may have taken your virginity, but it doesn’t mean he gets to take you as his wife. #RedFlag

4. I’m a firm believer that if a guy is currently addicted to porn, has not gotten victory over anger, or is incredibly controlling (keeping you from talking to any other guys but himself, not respecting your parents, spiritual leaders, etc) …. you SHOULD NOT marry the man. At least not now. The biggest lie of the devil is that YOU will change him. You won’t. #RedFlag

5. Don’t settle. He may the only boy that brought you a dandelion and called you pretty. You might feel the most comfortable around him. But that doesn’t make him husband material. A soft side and one who makes you comfortable is great, but rather look for a strong leader with a tender heart. #RedFlag

I have about 30 friends getting married this summer. If any of these red flags are present, please, please don’t SACRIFICE a LIFETIME of misery on the altar of a 30 minute ceremony to save the embarrassment of calling it all off. Calling it off could be your ticket to freedom. Forget the invites, the flowers, the money, etc…. honestly, your friends can probably see more clearly than YOU can and will ALL be relieved if you BOLT.

Am I old school? Sure! Biblical too. I believe marriage is sacred and serious. Marry the right person – it’s a bit of Heaven on earth; Marry the wrong person – it’s a bit of hell on earth. Maybe more than a bit.

It breaks my heart when some of my closest friends, years later, come to me and say, “I ignored the red flags”. But if you are reading this and are single, dating, or engaged, it’s not too late until it’s too late. Can God change hearts and bring repentance, yes. But it’s never a guarantee your man will want to change. So please be careful now, while there is still time. Pray early and pray often – for wisdom, guidance, and the peace which passes all understanding.

KPrainJrLeave a comment

A Lesson from the Game

Last night, while Trey and I walked around in the cold rain, people watching and taking in all that surrounds an NBA All-Star game, we were bombarded by scalpers trying to sell us tickets. Even 5 minutes before tip-off, they were trying to get $450 for each ticket.  

My son’s little chin started quivering when I explained that daddy can’t pay $900 to watch a game. He wanted so badly to go in out of the rain and cold to watch in the stands with everyone else. 

With shivering hands, Trey would bend down and reach for drenched pieces of paper on the sidewalk – asking me each time if it was a ticket someone may have dropped that we could use.

Passing us, and entering the arena, were those leaving the Ritz-Carlton, clad in outfits that put $900 tickets on a child’s piggy bank level. “VIP” could be clearly seen hanging from a lanyard around their necks. 

I’m 37. I’ve been around these types of events for years. I have athlete friends and CEO friends. I understand that money and who you know can get you in – and I rejoice for those that have tickets or badges – they worked hard. But to a 7 year old, it was tough to comprehend. One day he will appreciate that I did not spend money we did not have.

We had a wonderful night together, nonetheless – dinner at Moe’s, a train ride, and hot chocolate. Just dad and son. Kent and Kent. In the middle of a busy career, we needed quality time.

Later, I snuggled him and talked about the fun we had and reminded him that because of Jesus, we are VIPs in God’s sight. That one day, because of Jesus’ grace and mercy, we will get to enter Heaven’s gates and see Jesus face to face. We don’t deserve it; we can’t earn it or afford it – but God loved us so much, that He sent Jesus to die for our sins, and when we repent of our sins and believe on Him alone for salvation, we become joint heirs with Him. We now have an incorruptible inheritance! All-Star players will grow old, trophies and legacies will fade, but Heaven is eternal.

Thank you, Jesus, for allowing an event to teach such an important reminder.

Have you accepted Jesus? Are your sins forgiven? There is room at the cross for you! Here’s the best part – No fancy suits, passes, or money needed. Jesus loves you, and He gave His life for you. Won’t you accept His gift of salvation today?

KPrainJrLeave a comment